How It All Started

I posted this on my other blog just to explain about how my journey through cancer started...or how I told my friends & family about my cancer. I found that I had a hard time calling everyone individually and having to re-hash everything over again. So, after a while I decided just to write it down and send it to them. This was originally sent June 23, 2006...the day after I finally got diagnosed.

Subject: Breast Self-Exams and the Pigheaded,
40 year old Filipino...an update

Hi Gang,

As many of you are aware, I am turning the big 4-0 this September. With
that in mind, I have been eagerly planning a big trip to Italy.
My 1st LONG vacation. I can't wait.

Everyone tells me that 40 is the new 30...we'll see. God tends to
throw in a few speed bumps along the way to remind us that with all
the good in life, there are times that you will come to a glitch or
two....a minor rut along the pavement....or a big, body jarring
pothole.

This past April, during a routine breast self-exam, I found a tiny,
lentil-sized bump. Nothing too out of place, but different from
usual. In May, during a trip to Vegas with friends, I noted that
that tiny lump had grown; now it was the size of a pea. I freaked.

Immediately went to see my doctor. "It's probably nothing" is a
phrase I hope never to hear for a very long time. Thank God I'm
pigheaded (those of you who know me would say that that's an
understatement) and insisted on a mammogram. The mammogram lead to
an ultrasound, the ultrasound lead to several suggestions that
"It's probably nothing" but that if I insisted, I could get a needle
-aspiration biopsy. I opted to push for an open, excisional biopsy.
After much eye-rolling from various physicians, I got my way and had
a small, seemingly innocuous 1cm X 1.5cm lump excised from under
my right nipple on June 15th.

After an week of healing, I got my results on June 22nd. I wish
I could tell you that my doctors were right. I wish I could say
that I'm just a big hypochondriac. I wish a lot of things. But
as I said, God tends to throw in a few potholes in the road of
life; this is one in mine. I have breast cancer.

I'm doing okay...for now; the time for freaking out will come later.
I'm getting to the pissed off time now...."It's probably nothing"
....is now something and part of me wants to go up to each and every
one of those doctors...1GP...2 radiologists...and 1 surgeon...and
mop the floor with them.

Now, you all know that I have some great friends who happen to be
great doctors. Caring, diligent, smart and compassionate, all of
them. But if there are any real lessons that I can pass on to them
and to all of my friends it's this...When someone...a patient....
a friend...a family member...tells you that something is "wrong",
something is "different", something "isn't right" BELIEVE them.

And for all of you who don't do your self-exams...two words: DO IT. And
BELIEVE it. We should know ourselves well enough to know when
something isn't normal for our body. If you even have the thought
in the back of your head "oh, that's different" get it checked out.
And DO NOT let ANYBODY tell you that "IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING". Be
persistent. Be insistent. Be PIGHEADED.

And have a plan of attack in mind if you do get bad news. I want
to take the most aggressive approach. It's early days yet and no
surgeries have been scheduled. I have been referred to an oncologist
and a plastic surgeon. Because the cancer was found right in the
nipple area, the usual treatment is a mastectomy and I'm okay with
that. As a matter of fact, I wish to have both breasts removed to
eliminate the chance of reocurrance. My surgeon seems to think
that I'm being a bit reactionary, but hey, what does he know...
he thought that it was "probably nothing".

Anyway...that's my life as of today. I have every intention of
stepping off the plane in Rome come September 9th. I intend to
celebrate my 40th by toasting a Roman sunset over St. Peter's
Basilica on September 11th. I intend to see Florence and drink wine
in Tuscany. I will be seeing Venice and the pigeons in St. Mark's
Square. I will be visiting my friends, Lisa & Steven in Sicily.
I will be chasing Zachary around Sigonella. And hopefully, if Lisa
will cooperate, I will still be there when she has Zachary's little
sister! These were my plans before this little bump in the road,
these are my plans now. If you thought I was pigheaded before...
you haven't seen anything yet.


Love to all,
Mel